In A Potential Reason Divorce is so High – 1 I talked about the increasing stress of being on the sexual marketplace. Then I paired this increasing stress with the constant stress of being in a relationship. Combining these two makes a lethal combination that many people struggle to cope with. I believe this stress is the cause an increase in no-strings attached relationships. I have no data to back this up it’s just a gut feeling. This article is purely conjecture.
It has long been known that humans need and crave human contact and a transference of emotion with another. It seems that more and more people in western culture have been looking for a way to share emotions without the actual depth in relationships. After all, relationships are more unstable than ever before. This instability stresses the mind. Knowing that a partner can leave at any time and, sometimes, will have an incentive to is nerve wracking. This phenomenon is addressed by songs like Sam Smith’s Stay With Me and Ed Sheeran’s Don’t. Both artist are looking for the sex and emotional bonding without the relationship. Then when their lovers leave them their inner sadness shines through. The fact that these songs have become so popular say something about it’s massive audience. The songs are lyrically and vocally oriented so one can not make the case that people enjoy it because of the beat. Therefor, we can assume that the lyrics and vocals must strike a cord with this very large audience. I believe that the stress of being on the market all the time has caused a fundamental change in the relationship depth people are looking for. The stress of being on the market is so great that nobody wants to add the stress of being in a relationship with that. Relationships, not only, don’t spare them anymore from the cruel marketplace, but crank that stress up even more. The incentives for a deep fulfilling relationship are no longer outweighing the cost.
Because deep relationships are more costly than before people are not engaging until as late as possible, as shown by the rising age of first marriage. However, humans still need human contact and a transference of emotion. Also, nobody, except the most battled hardened players, enjoys going out to get a new mate every night. Thus we have the perfect environment for individuals to engage in no-strings attached relationships. Stress keeping them from committing, and biology keeping them from doing nothing.
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